Here are some questions and comments that I get when I am talking with any one of my girl or guy friends. I never noticed until college how rare it was to say that you were going to stay sexual pure until marriage...and mean it.
(...You are lucky you don't have a boyfriend, because otherwise you would be right where I am now.) Not necessarily. Each relationship is different and each relationship is dependent on who is involved. Yes, it does help that I am single and yes, it does help that I have not been in a serious relationship. Do I know what I am going to end up doing in the future? No I do not. However, I do know that every relationship I have pursued or gotten involved with, I have set a boundary first thing. I always make sure that they are well aware that I do have a purity ring, it is real and it is serious. I also don't kiss on first dates...usually not on second dates either. This is mostly because I giggle when I get close to people so I usually end up laughing for 30 minutes, get tired and want to fall asleep or go home.
(...but you don't know what you are missing!) True. Very true. Then again, do I not? Sex is literally around every corner of America. Guys with shirts off, girls with only underwear, movies, conversations and even in the bible. I know what I am missing. Obviously it is great or the entire world would not be spending so much time focused on it. I will be completely honest, I have had several moments where I have questioned if I should wait. I hear so many conversations about relationships around me and how much fun they have and sometimes I sit back and wonder if I am actually the one missing out. I know it wouldn't be hard to find a guy only interested in physicality. But that is where that thought stops. There is never any action that goes along with that thought because I find value in my future husband. I do not want any other man to know me in the same way my husband will. I am his and his alone. Until I find that man standing at the alter waiting for me, I will fight against society, guys, friends and myself to keep the one thing that I am "missing out on" for the man that is Mrs-ing me.
(...how can you say no?) How? I wish it was as easy as just saying those two letters, but sometimes its not. Hormones, emotions and the heat of the moment can get in the way. That's not the time when you want to say no. That's why that conversation is one of the first that I talk about when a guy starts to pursue me. I am completely honest with them and tell them that I will not have sex with them unless we make it to marriage. I have found most guys to agree with this and respect this...so just be careful. Two years doesn't seem like a long time, but then again, age 16 to age 18 was the difference between your permit and being a legal adult. A lot can happen and it can all move pretty slow when you are waiting for something. I also hold the guys to a major responsibility as well. I let them know that if I do not say no, I am trusting them to tell me no. It gives the guy accountability. Of course I don't just say that and then start kissing them. I make sure it is very clear how important it is to me and the outcome of what will happen, mentally, to me if it does happen. It is not only for my Christian life or my physical health, but for my mental health as well. I know I am the type of person that would not be able to handle sleeping with someone and then walk away, or have a break up. It would mean my desire to only be with my husband would be gone, and that would eat me alive for the rest of my relationship and life. So, I can say no because I know what is best for me and I am in love with my future husband and want him to know that I am only his.
(...aren't you so cute and innocent!) I get this one a lot. "Aw, your just so innocent." I'm really not though. Just because I am a Christian and you see me as innocent does not mean that I don't think and desire the same things that everyone else does. I do. The only difference is I don't act on them. I will claim innocence on the dating and relationship life though. Thanks to a Christian foundation that took a jump from "here are your purity rings" to college church life of "date, date, date...attraction, find your lover, relationship advice, fall in love," my dating experience is, lack of a better word, slow. I'm innocent because the guys I have liked have not liked me back. I crush extremely hard so having 5 crushes in my life doesn't help the "dating pool" much. Of course, being innocent has also given a red flag to guys. Most don't want to destroy my innocence. I thank them for that. I have a lot of great older brothers now because of that.
(...well you don't have any struggles because you are single and haven't had a boyfriend so you don't know the pain.) I'm not going to argue this. Yes, I have had life pretty easy. I haven't had any nasty break ups or fallen in love. I have had a 4 year crush, 1.5 year crush and a "no real time frame" crush (it just never seemed important to try and keep a tab of time on this one...idk why). One was all of high school. I was best friends with his brother and knew him extremely well. It wasn't until the last day of our spring musical when I ended up seeing his true colors, crying my eyes out in the middle of a cafeteria in his arms. Romantic...maybe to yall. It was the ultimate start of mistrust for affection from guys. The next one I thought was going to be my first official boyfriend. Technically, we dated...just with out the title or physical affection. We knew each other and became best friends. I always wanted to marry my best friend so I let all my guard down. Then I found out he liked a girl we both knew. My heart broke, but instead of being smart and walking away, I stayed, praying he'd be mine. (If I would have listened to God, life would have been so much easier). I actually helped set them up, making sure she was around the exact time we were going to go somewhere. Even though she didn't like him at first, she fell in love and they have been together for almost 2 years. I was in depression for half of that...and this couple and I no longer have communication. The third one sounds complicated but is rather simple. Our feelings did not match for one another. He's the only guy that I have liked that has not turned into someone that I no longer have contact with. As you can see, most end incredibly dramatic and terribly.
Yes, I have had a boyfriend, but it doesn't necessarily count. However, you can't count me out of not having heartache. Yes, I am innocent, but no, that doesn't mean I do not have the same desires. Yes, I am old fashioned, but not because I find it as the easy way out. I find it as respectful towards my future husband and his desires for me. I know that he would only want the best for me and that he would feel incredibly empowered to know that I am only his.
Just to clarify, I am still single. "My Future Husband is a Jesus Freak" is me setting a standard to who my future husband will be. The standard I hold myself to to make sure that I find the man God has picked out for me. The one that will lead me towards Christ and will be there for me, our children and the rest of our family and friends until we both pass away. This is why I say no. I am also writing this because I am tired of not having clear honesty in the realm of Christianity. I'm tired of everyone hiding their struggles and pain to protect the image of the perfect Christian.
-Miss Jesus Freak
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