Welcome to the most amazing season of the year! The season of beyond beautiful colors, just enough chill in the air and beautiful changing trees. That is unless you are in Florida. Then its like, "Oh hey, there's a palm tree and its 85* when I wake up instead of 92*."
I'm so excited to spend this season back in the state that I grew up in. This is home. Hiking on the weekends and watching the trees change outside my house window is nothing more than comforting. Finally the colors outside match the colors on the inside of my house. Oh, and everything is pumpkin. The smell, the colors, the baking...the hot chocolate I order from starbucks!
Everything always looks good too. This is the one season where I actually look good. Not in a cocky "Look at me" way, but in a "there is no way I can fail at this." The boots, scarves and cardigans...everything is presented to make you look good...well, at least on weekends. It is the perfect season!
And can we say THANK YOU to layers? They allow you to eat twice as much of the yummy food and still look thin. Oh, there is a heaven!
However, fall only lasts for a few weeks. The cute factor, joy of colors and perfect weather temperature disappear into the hateful, bitter cold, rude season known as winter. Nothing is cute about winter. The clothes, tree colors, attitudes of people...it all screams miserable to me. Not saying there aren't good things about winter. The family time and the cuddles in blankets next to fire places are amazing. Christmas is always a beautiful time of year, filled with family, joy, red and food. (Can you tell my priorities in life?)
But its cold. That is my main issue about winter. The comfort is gone. Instead, I am shivering all the time. Sure, the outfits can still look dashing...but it's only because without the twelve layers you have on, you will freeze.
Isn't it funny how your personal life kind of follows this same behavior?
We all go through seasons. Some we are madly in love with and others we want to just curl up and wait for them to go away.
I am in fall right now. I came out of a terrible winter with relationships during my junior/senior (not sure what to call this year...JunSior?) year. There were days when I wanted to stay hidden in my apartment. Actually, my apartment was too close to the problem. I wanted to stay on Tybee Island. It was my number one escape. Sunset at least twice a week would clear my head. Solitude. Clarity.
During this winter, I swore something was wrong with me. My romantic life has been anything less than comical. Most of it, sure, is my fault. I am a very strong personality that does not give in easily to peer pressure or the ways of the world. I'm not a typical 21 year old.
This made my first relationship very short lived. I believe it was 10 days.
I just know what I want and don't compromise because I know God has the best waiting for me.
I was actually talking about my relationship life to one of my close friends. Now, this person has had the picture perfect, movie wothy, first moments in his life. Ones that you can imagine having the romantic lighting, stars reflecting in each others eyes and the engraving of Nicholas Sparks name plastered underneath the still shot of perfection. This person actually dated my first boyfriend better than I did.
Me, on the other hand...not even Dr. Seuss could make rhyme or reason out of my love life. Its at the point where you just HAVE to laugh. My Mom and I do all the time. Not because anything about the subject is bitter, but because there is no way not to laugh at my luck with guys.
Now, this winter ended a few months ago. A beautiful summer and a new fall have come into play. Happiness. Warmth. True bliss.
I've lied a lot about being happy while being single. I actually heard on a TV show, thank you ABC Family, that stated "You can only be single for so long before you start to think the problem is you." Quality crap to put into tweenage minds everywhere. Positivity.
Anyways, sometimes you have to keep saying things before it becomes a reality, right? So, yes, I have stated a thousand times that I am truly happy being single. Most were incredibly selfish lies. Some were hopes of getting the guy (at the time) I liked to take notice. ...I'm a girl...we don't always think logically.
However, I believe this is the first time that I have been truly happy being single. I am truly happy with this season of my life being exactly as it is. This is my summer and fall. Everything is beautiful. Everything smells like pumpkin and everything is worth it.
I love my job. That may be the biggest reason of them all. God answered prayers on landing this position for me. He placed me with fantastic people that see the potential that I sometimes can't see. Things that I don't understand as a "BIG DEAL", such as doing what I am told, they notice as something greater. They allow me to take on bigger responsibilities and hold me accountable for my mistakes. They guide me and teach me the ways of the industry. They also have made it incredibly fun. They have made the stressful, tiring, want to punch someone in the face, kinda days, worth it. They make me want to do better, keep learning and follow their strengths so I can continue to be an asset to them in the future.
During a recent lunch break (I say dinner...9pm is never lunch), I was on the phone with my Mom and we were talking about how truly amazing this all came together. I was ranting about being single when I sat back and told her that I am actually happy without having someone romantically in my life. We noticed the patterns of how I got to where I am and we both agreed that if God wanted me in a relationship at this time, it all would have worked out so smoothly, like my job. He opened doors for my career. There is no doubt that this is where I am supposed to be. And if I was supposed to be in a relationship, he would have made that happen.
Now, lets not forget the sarcasm part of this all. Almost half a year ago, news came into my life that altered a lot for me. Its easier to say crush than have a million people look at you like you are crazy. Anyways, I was talking with Mi Madre and I just start laughing. I realized that even if man screws up what God intended to be...I am the one coming out of this stronger.
I have NEVER been a patient person. I am also not a fighter. If someone challenges my opinions, I nod, smile and walk away. It's not worth a fight to me. I also rather put my opinions in written form than talk about them (i.e. a blog...with terrible grammar and spelling). I am also incredibly strong willed.
Now, because of this one person in my life and the situation I was given, I have become incredibly patient in ways that I cannot even describe. I am able to speak my opinion when it is needed, am able to communicate in ways that benefits someone other than myself and am able to (a big struggle in my field of work) keep in contact with incredibly important members of my life.
"I may not marry the guy, but man, I am going to be one heck of a wife because of him." We talked my entire drive home at how being patient is my biggest struggle and I now have gone through the biggest test for it. We also looked at how there is no way I can handle a man when I work 60+ hours a week, clean, cook, do all the laundry, pay bills and make sure everything with my Lil Ewok is perfect...plus wake up in time to watch Elevation Churches live broadcast and New Spring Church right after. Laughing continued with sarcasm at how men have a terrible perspective of what America classifies as the perfect wife...and how I can accomplish all of it...as long as I don't have a husband. ;) I guess you had to be there to think that was funny...
Basically this entire story telling, which I could have probably done without half of, is to say that seasons are beautiful. If it weren't for the long winters, I would have never discovered how beautiful spring, summer and fall were/are. Especially this fall!
I'm not saying that being in a relationship is bad. If it is what you have been called to, go for it. Relationships are a beautiful thing! I have been privileged to see beyond amazing weddings and relationships of people my age. Gorgeous brides, handsome husbands and fantastic connections between two people.
Me? My relationship and happiness belong to my work. This is where I am called. It gives me a reason to wake up in the morning and people to make smile during the day. I am actually so incredibly sound with my life right now that I have turned down several dates this past month. I see no reason to adjust my life to another person right now. I am 21. I am new into my career field. I get to hang out with incredible people 5+ days a week and get to have fun phone calls/facetimes with my family and friends every single day. Why mess up a good thing when you have it? I have finally noticed the blessing this season has brought. Single is no longer a disease to me.
Be thankful for your season. Something amazing comes out of each one. Even the struggling ones. You can never truly appreciate the forest if you have never spent a hot season in the desert.
Happy Beautiful Fall! Make the best of your season!
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