We live in a society that is built on self image, selfies and self labeling. We have been programmed this way. Everything is built on who we are, what we are going to do and if we are going to live up to our destined potential.
Over the past month or so, I have noticed that for a population that is defined by selfishness, we actually aren't selfish at all. Our "selfishness" is actually based on the world around us. Men and women alike have been trained to follow a road that the world will agree with and will see as great.
Back a generation ago, taking a selfie was an unknown word and form of photo taking. Friends would hang out and take photos of each other. Now, we spend tens of minutes to hours taking photos of ourselves, making sure we look perfect, editing them exactly and then posting it to one, or many, social media. Our self esteem, another "self"ish thing we deal with, is linked to a like button on Facebook, Instagram or any other mass media app we have on our phones.
Choices are no longer our own. If we don't have a certain number of people who agree with us on what we want to do, we don't do it. We allow self doubt in one's own ability to choose and then hand out the choices of our lives to others like cards from a deck. The more people who know, the less of a percentage we have control over the choice ourselves. Yet, in our minds, its ultimately ok because it would conclude that the more we live to the opinions of others, the more we are accepted. The ability to keep a mass number of friends on Facebook and follows on Instagram who are positively interested and accepting of our "lives", the happier we are.
We are "selfish."
...are we?
Honestly, I don't believe we are a selfish enough generation.
For the past two years, I have been building my life as a young adult. I moved to a part of a state that I barely knew, joined an industry that is built on exclusiveness, found my way into a multi-million dollar climbing gym, claimed a kitten as my kid and started my life as a working individual.
What I didn't understand was that I was not an individual at all.
My biggest concern, and concern still, is the question of "Am I going to live up to my potential?"
Everything that I did my first two years in Georgia was based on what I thought everyone around me wanted me to do. I was scared to say no or tell anyone no. Besides, my future was in their hands. They had more experience than me. They all knew better than me. Heck, I was 20, what did I know about life?
Heck, I was 21, what did I know about life?
Heck, I was 22, what did I know about life?
Heck, I AM 23, what do I know about life?
Maybe nothing...to you. However, I do know a lot about my own life and who I am and the one thing I have not been enough of is selfish.
I have been so scared about going the wrong direction in my life, making the wrong choices, not living up to my potential and peaking in my career at twenty three. Do you realize how sad those thoughts are for a twenty three year old to have? Or better yet, do you know what type of pressure that is for a twenty three year old to live with? Constantly concerned that they are making drastic mistakes that will altar their destination in the most dramatic of ways, forcing them into destined failure with a future that is but wind amongst their fingers; impossible to grasp, not easy to see but noticeably felt by those around them.
Every single decision seems like it can be the one to derail the train I have been building since I was thirteen. Each job, each friendship, each apartment, each relationship and every church all become the potential to make or fail what everyone expects out of me. I am expected to say yes. I am expected to agree. I am expected to oblige to the opinions of the world around me on what to wear, what to think, what to say and how to act. What will get me the most likes on a status? Will they still like my instagram posts? Are they going to ignore me in public? If I talk to them, what will they say? Will they see my life as a failure? Will they see me as a screw up? Do they know my choices? Are they going to judge them for them? If they were living my life, would they be making these same decisions?
No.
That is the truth. No.
Nobody is going to live the life I am living. It isn't possible. It isn't yours and it isn't for you. It was meant for me.
That is what I have recently been resting in.
God creates all of us for a purpose. He has placed all of us here with a designed destination and a life only we can live.
We make mistakes. That is very clear. Yet, it is all part of our journey.
The hardest thing to do is to realize that not everyone is going to agree with what you do. And that is ok. Your life is also going to turn out wonderfully, even if you don't chose the popular option.
Your life is yours. No-one else. Not one person can feel what you feel when you feel it. You are you. The choices you make help build your path in life. If it is the wrong choice, own up to the mistake and keep walking. Things are going to happen. You are going to stumble and fall from time to time. Stand up, shake off the dirt and keep walking. It is all going to be ok.
If that doesn't comfort you, rest in the peace that God works all things for the good of the Kingdom.
You can not possibly make such a big mistake while living your life on earth that the entire Kingdom of God falls apart. It is absolutely impossible and infinitely improbable.
God has you. He chose you. He loves you. He is with you.
I know it is still incredibly difficult to not think about how your actions today will effect your future tomorrow. If the job you quite could have been the one to make your big break? If the time you spent could have been used in a better area of choice? If you don't do what other's think and say about your life, will we be making a mistake? Are they more right than you? Will you be strong enough to walk away or will you be destined to be proven wrong?
Have you ever rented a new apartment or home?
You walked into nothing, a blank slate, if you will. The absolute bare minimum. You signed a lease, knowing that it would one day, soon, expire.
Did you just leave the place as you found it because, "Heck, why make it a home if you are going to move out in a year?"
No. You started to place furniture, hang up pictures, lay down rugs and create the feeling of a home.
Some decorations moved the next day. Other's have been up since the beginning. Furniture has moved around. Other's have been refinished. Candles were placed, pillows were added and prayers were prayed. Home became home.
Nothing is going to be perfect the first time you walk in. Yet you don't give up. Your life has a lease. It will expire. Don't look back regretting the things that you have chosen or the things that you didn't choose at all. Build your own apartment. Decorate it. Create the feel and look of your life that you want to live in. Only invite those over that you want to see it and don't hand your address out to those you don't. It's your life. You are the one paying the rent so invest in yourself.
Everyone else can tell you how to spend your money, your time and how to decorate your apartment. Ultimately, it is you who has to live with the responsibility of your home. You are the designer. God provided the space, now go do something with it.
Life isn't easy. People aren't going to always, if ever, agree with you. So be selfish. Choose to build your life how you want to live it. Don't look back. Don't live in regrets. Find comfort that you can not possibly mess up the plans and path that God has for you. He is bigger than any mistakes you make and, ultimately, your destination is going to be exactly where God needs you.
Place all things in God's hands, every choice and every decision. Live with Him in mind first and everything will work out in better ways than you could ever imagine. We live for an unstoppable God who does impossible things. Believe in the impossible and never be stoppable in your life.
The world has so many opinions. Here is mine...stop living for society and start living for the life you were given.
And yes, that is a very selfish thing to say and I absolutely meant to say it.
But ultimately, I intend to LIVE it.
"Spend life with those you make you happy. Not those who you have to impress."
Honestly...the best part about being selfish is getting to choose who you want to spend your time with.
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